Diane Screentest On Muse Day


“I’m ready for my close up now, Ms. Fairegardener. Let the music begin and I will work it for the camera”. So says Hamamelis x intermedia ‘Diane’ to the woman with the Canon.

Little ditty about Jack and Diane
Two American kids growin’ up in the heartland
Jackie’s gonna be a football star
Diane’s a debutante in the backseat of Jackie’s car

Suckin’ on chili dogs outside the Tastee Freeze
Diane’s sittin’ on Jackie’s lap
He’s got his hands between her knees

Jackie say, “Hey, Diane lets run off
Behind a shady tree
Dribble off those Bobbie Brooks
Let me do what I please”

And say a
(Chorus):
Oh yeah life goes on
Long after the thrill of livin’ is gone
Oh yeah life goes on
Long after the thrill of livin’ is gone they walk on (or) rock on

Jackie sits back reflects his thoughts for a moment
Scratches his head and does his best James Dean
“Well you know Diane we oughtta run off to the city”

Diane says, “Baby you ain’t missin’ nothing”

Jackie say a
(Chorus):
Oh yeah life goes on
Long after the thrill of livin’ is gone
Oh yeah life goes on
Long after the thrill of livin’ is gone

Gonna let it rock
Let it roll

Let the Bible belt come down
And save my soul
Hold on to 16 as long as you can

Changes comin’ round real soon
Make us women and men

Little ditty about Jack and Diane
Two American kids doin’ the best they can


For the answer to every question one might have about supermodel Diane, read last year’s post by clicking here-Faire Diane. Oh how we wanted H. ‘Arnold Promise’ to be blooming at the same time. He coulda been Jack, but it was not to be.

Since this is the first day of the month, we pay tribute to Carolyn Gail of Sweet Home And Garden Chicago.

To listen to John Mellencamp sing Jack And Diane, click
here.
Finding the correct lyrics was nearly impossible. Lyric searches were quite varied, and none seemed right. This is as close as my ears can get them. If you have a correction, please let me know and I will fix it. And as a teenager, I did have a couple of pairs of Bobbie Brooks slacks, in case you were wondering.

Frances

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53 Responses to Diane Screentest On Muse Day

  1. lotusleaf says:

    Yes, life goes on. Hope the thrill of living also goes on!

    Hi Lotus, you hit upon an important point here. It always seemed rather depressing that the thrill of living was gone after one was no longer 16! I beg to differ! ;-)
    Frances

  2. Darla says:

    I do remember last year’s post…Bobbie Brooks also makes under clothes…or did. Diane is sure strutting her stuff this year!

    Hi Darla, thanks. Diane is having her best year ever, despite ice and snow pelting her. The witch hazels love moist soil, and after two drought years she is loving the weather we have had and continue to have in the way of precipitation. I tried to think of the other brand of clothes that I loved as a teenager, BB was not my fave, there was another, not the Villager line, too conservative, but the name eludes me. It was a little more edgey. I saved my allowance and put outfits in layaway at the local department store. Something of a clothes horse. Maybe someone will come up with it. :-)
    Frances

  3. Liisa says:

    Good Morning, Frances… Diane is quite the show stopper, isn’t she?! She is certainly one of my favorite residents at Fairegarden. Perhaps she convinced Arnold to stay in the backseat for awhile as she struts on the catwalk…

    Oh Liisa, thanks, that was a great comment! Diane is having her best year ever since first planted. She was a slow starter but is going strong now.
    Frances

  4. gardeningasylum says:

    I love the Detail Depicted of the Delicious Diane! My Dormant Diane is still in the Deep freeze…

    Thanks, Diane is looking mighty fine, even after snow and ice tried to dim her star! I know your own Diane will shine brightly as well, soon I hope. :-)
    Frances

  5. Wow, if I looked like that, I would want a close up too!

    Thanks Deborah. Diane’s close ups show detail in the flowers, and their colors, that are not seen easily while standing on the path. This is the most flowers she has ever had, I am happy to say. :-)
    Frances

  6. Edith Hope says:

    Dear Frances, What a highly imaginative posting with some superb pictures. One does welcome these blooms at this time of year.

    Hi Edith, thanks so much. The time of bloom of Diane, when nothing else is showing color here, makes her a treasure. If only Arnold was also blooming, but his time will come.
    Frances

  7. Les says:

    Beautiful photos, a perfect example of you don’t know what you are missing if you don’t take time to examine something closely.

    When will you be doing a post on Little Pink Houses?

    HA Les, good one, and thanks. Diane does need to be examined up close or the unique flower form will be lost. Even normal glasses enhanced human vision cannot do what the macro lens of the Canon can when loaded onto the computer. Now maybe if I made the fairy gazebo pink??? I wonder if the photo program…… :-)
    Frances

  8. Perfect song for Diane! She’s so lovely.

    Stay warm!
    Cameron

    Thanks Cameron and you also stay warm! This song is one of few that use Diane rather than Diana. It is an oldie but a goodie. :-)
    Frances

  9. Gail says:

    She’s fantastic! She deserves a song written just for her! I think these might be your best shots of her~ I keep going back to look at them. Isn’t the color variation striking! H vernalis is blooming up a storm here…I think that Witch Hazels are still underused in most
    gardens. Gail ps I fear I shall be singing Jack and Diane all day!

    Hi Gail, thanks. We can have a duet, for I am singing it as well. As I told you, figuring out the best light conditions is key to the photos. For us it is late afternoon and crouching underneath the branches. Sort of a work out for the knees and hips! HA Creeeeaaaak!
    Frances

  10. Rose says:

    I’m humming “Jack and Diane” right along with Gail… Yes, I remember Bobbie Brooks–that was THE label to have when I was a teen. Diane is such a beauty, Frances, and you caught some of her best poses here. I used to wish I looked like Cheryl Tiegs, but now I’d be happy instead to have supermodel Diane in my back yard!

    Hi Rose, thanks, we can be a trio! All voices welcome, better to drown out my caterwaulin’. I figured you would know Bobbie Brooks, but what was the rival label, can you recall? It is so close to my consciousness, but remains hidden. It might be one word. I can see the outfits, but not the label! Diane is having a very good year after all the rain we had last summer. She likes to get her feet wet frequently. Better for the SI swimsuit issue, brought to mind by your mention of Cheryl Tiegs. My role model was Twiggy. I was quite thin, too thin, back before they made clothes in sizes less than a 5, and had to take in the pants for that nice snug fit. I tried drawing those eye lashes on with the lower lids with pencil like she did, it looked like Halloween! But we did rock the miniskirts, complete with clunky heeled shoes since we weren’t allowed to wear slacks to school. HA
    Frances

  11. Steve says:

    Man, Diane looks HOT! And, as I sit here looking outside at the approximately 8 degree weather, wondering why on Earth anyone would move back to this, I find just the tonic in the gorgeous Diane. I’m thinking she and I ought to move.

    Hi Steve, thanks. It is cold here, but spring will come soon, so they say, and be that much more welcome. Diane is maturing into quite a smoldering beauty, age becomes her. :-)
    Frances

  12. Lisa at Greenbow says:

    I will have this ear worm most of the morning no doubt. What a clever post Frances. Happy GMD.

    Hi Lisa, thanks, and sorry. There are worse songs to have buzzing in your ears. At least we know the words to this one. :-)
    Frances

  13. Diane has much frillier petals than the native H. virginiana. Where’s the snow?

    Hi Christopher, thanks for visiting. Diane is more of a glamour gal than the native. These shots were right before the snow. I took a million with the snow falling, but without the sunlight the colors do not shine like they should. We still have frozen icy hard snow that crunches underfoot. The Financier shoveled the walk, the first time the snow shovel has been used in many years. We keep moving it with us from state to state and rarely needed it since leaving PA. Glad to have it now, although it is old style, without that nice curved handle like your new one.
    Frances

  14. commonweeder says:

    What a wonderful series of closeups. I love the Diane witch hazel – and since I have a daughter Diane you would think I’d have one but I only learned about Diane the tree a year ago. Now I’m trying to figure out where to plant her.

    Thanks Pat. I imagine your daughter hated that song! The teasing would be hard to take, and kids are expert teasers. Diane the tree likes moisture and sun. We have the sun, but moisture can be hard to come by on our slope. Last year’s extra rainfall has made ours a happy girl. :-)
    Frances

  15. Darla says:

    Was it Hang Ten?

    Oooh, I remember that brand, Darla, thanks. But that’s not the one I was thinking of. What a blast from the past though, HA. :-)
    Frances

  16. carolyngail says:

    Here comes a member of the bible belt to save your soul, Frances :-) Oops! Too late.

    Diane is a real show stopper and a star in the tree lot where I work. Your photos of her are outstanding.

    Thanks for joining our Muse day this first day of February. Seen that groundhog anywhere around Faire Garden ?

    HA Carolyn Gail, thanks and yes, too late is right! What a great comment! Diane is a little crinkly at the moment, I was just out to see how she fared with the recent snow and ice. Still hangin’, but shrunken and hunkerin’. We do love your muse day meme, thanks for hosting it. The ground hog will not see his shadow here tomorrow, so the weather people are saying, we are to have clouds and rain. So spring will arrive early, and I am more than over this winter.
    Frances

  17. I don’t think Diane need worry, she’s got the part! Incidentally, John Mellencamp is one of my long-time favorite singers/songwriters. Not that song so much, but much else. He says a lot in a few simple words and his style has changed a lot over the years, which I appreciate.

    Hi Monica, thanks. That song was never a fave of mine, either, but was the first one that came to mind with Diane in the title. Most people are familiar with it no matter how they feel about it.
    Frances

  18. Ooooooo Diane DID work it for the camera! I love Diane and your photos of her are gorgeous! I love Mellencamp too!!

    Thanks Linda. It was a good day for photos that day, the sun was just right for a change. :-)
    Frances

  19. Darla says:

    If you get a minute some of your seeds are sprouting in Florida…

    Wow Darla, that was so fast! Thanks for the link love and mention in your post. You are a doll! :-)
    Frances

  20. Just fantastic! (Your photos & the plant)

    Thanks MMD. Diane and I appreciate that. :-)
    Frances

  21. joey says:

    Delightful … you’re an amazing gal, Frances! Happy February and Muse Day :)

    Thanks Joey, you are the best. Happy goodbye to January and Muse Day to you too. Reason to celebrate! :-)
    Frances

  22. Meredith says:

    Love that song… and the photos were just breathtaking! You really captured her unusual beauty. :)

    Thanks so much, Meredith. Diane and the other witch hazels are all so exotic looking and the bloom time can’t be beat. :-)
    Frances

  23. gittan says:

    I sing along with Jack and Diane;
    Oh yeah life goes on…
    Lovely post Frances / kram gittan

    Thanks Gittan, all voices are welcome! I am glad to see you. :-)
    Frances

  24. Sweet Bay says:

    Diane is very beautiful — so colorful.

    Hi Sweet Bay, thanks. Diane brightens these winter days, and stands out well against the snow too. :-)
    Frances

  25. Haven’t the foggiest idea what’s going on here, Frances, but I want to reach into the pictures and scrunch those . . . whatever they are!

    Esther

    Very unusual blossoms, aren’t they Esther? We do want to touch them. When the weather is warmer and the flowers have been open for a while they will relax some and be more like streamers than curliques. :-)
    Frances

  26. VW says:

    Fiery, wonderful pictures! I still haven’t ever smelled witch hazel, but I’m looking forward to it.

    Thanks VW. Diane has no fragrance yet. We didn’t notice it last year until the weather had warmed up and the flowers had been open awhile. There are no pollinators to attract now, I suppose. :-)
    Frances

  27. TC Conner says:

    Witch Hazel’s know that folks like me think they’re so ugly, they’re pretty, and therefore want one or two of them. I ain’t broke down and bought one yet! (I’m savin for an iPhone!)

    Forget that iphone, TC! A witch hazel is money better spent. :-)
    Frances

  28. Amy Emerick says:

    I enjoyed your post! Diane is very pretty and photogenic.

    Hi Amy, thanks. Diane is a star right now, she has no competition either. :-)
    Frances

  29. Kiki says:

    Super stunning! Gorgeous shots..brilliant beauty!!

    Thanks Kiki. This is you isn’t it? WordPress didn’t think so.
    Frances

  30. Diane is a pretty woman…and we shall never forget her name when we see her from now on;-) Also, glad you wrote down the lyrics to that song ’cause I don’t think I’ve ever quite gotten them all by hearing the song! You have the most beautiful witch hazels around, Frances. In fact, I must admit to not knowing anything at all about them until I read your post last year. I still don’t have one in my own yard, but it’s fun getting educated in case the opportunity arises one day. Not sure my yard would be a hospitable place for Diane;-)

    Hi Jan, so nice to see you and thanks. I thought I knew the lyrics to that song, but when trying to find a copy, there were some nonsensical words in most of them. I changed it to what seems right. The witch hazels are not seen much in the US, which is a shame. That is one thing blogging helps, to acquaint gardeners with plants worth growing that they might not have heard of before. My own wish list is made up almost entirely from blog reading. :-)
    Frances

  31. Anna says:

    ‘Diane’ is a beauty. I bought ‘Jelena’ last year and think that I might have room for a companion:) Is ‘Diane’ highly scented Frances?

    Hi Anna, thanks. Jelena is a worthy competitor for Diane. She, Jelena is the one that would get added here, if we can figure out a good place for her. Diane’s fragrance is not noticed until the temperatures warm up, or the flowers have been opened longer, I don’t know which triggers it. Arnold Promise is very fragrant, but he is not opening yet beyond a peek of yellow. It is cold though.
    Frances

  32. easygardener says:

    Sumptuous flowers – the colours are beautiful. Alas, I haven’t got room for one in my garden (quiet sob and a sniffle!)

    Hi EG, thanks. I am sorry you have no room for Diane. So far she is not that large, although I pruned her to a single trunk early on so she has no lower branches. It does allow for plantings underneath, if morally wrong.
    Frances

  33. Joanne says:

    Hi Frances love your ditty but I am so envious of your Hammamelis both of them something that was in my garden according to an old plan I have but it must have died before we moved here and I still haven’t bought one and popped it in.

    Hi Joanne, thanks. I am so sorry your witch hazel disappeared. You don’t think someone dug it up and removed it, do you? At any rate, it is worth replacing, as you know. :-)
    Frances

  34. Hello Frances,

    Witch Hazel looks somewhat like a plant that Dr. Seuss would create in one of his books, to my southern eyes. They are beautiful!

    Hi Noelle, thanks. These trees are so unusual in their flowering, like a party. :-)
    Frances

  35. Catherine says:

    Photographers are very important for getting the most out of their model, you really got her to work it! :)

    Hi Catherine, thanks. Diane was ready to show off that day. :-)
    Frances

  36. Wonderful portraits of your Hamamelis Frances… I cannot believe I do not have the one or two that are hardy here. What a clever post… I will have to go and listen to that song. Seems like I am missing something here… memory… needs a bit of a stir… somehow B&W saddle oxford shoes and bobby socks come up … alligator belts… maybe they all go together with Bobbie Brooks skirts… maybe the song will bring it back. I see myself in all of that … all those lifetimes ago. Had to be the 60’s! ;>)) Carol

    Hi Carol, thanks. The saddle oxfords and bobby socks era was a bit before this song, I believe, which came out in 1982. But my memory thinks the original recording said Bobby Brooks slacks, which made the lyric way too risque for the time. Oh the good old days! Now that makes me sound like a geezer! HA :-)
    Frances

  37. greenwalks says:

    Hee hee, that song cracks me up. Now it is stuck in my head… Diane, what a showstopper! Glad she is finally out to strut around. Gorgeous!!

    Hi Karen, thanks. The song is a bit of a joke, as used here anyway. Diane is having her best year ever though. Hooray!
    Frances

  38. Janet says:

    Once again you rock!! La la life goes on……….. What fun. (I used to wear lots of Hang Ten t-shirt dresses.)
    Love the photos of Diane. Just stunning.

    Thanks Janet. It is fun to flash back into time, isn’t it? But we are so much wiser now. :-)
    Frances

  39. Diane is quite a looker! What a great post. So fun but now I’m going to be humming that song for the rest of the evening. :-)

    Hi Kate, thanks. Diane is striking, even with some snow and ice on her at the moment. Or at least yesterday, it is raining now and might all be melted, I hope! :-)
    Frances

  40. nancybond says:

    Beautiful! Diane is a stunner. :)

    Thanks Nancy. Diane is the best thing happening in the garden right now, make that the only thing happening! :-)
    Frances

  41. Jake says:

    These plants are very interesting. The flowers are very unique.

    Jake

    Hi Jake, thanks for visiting. The witch hazels are small trees with party streamer flowers in the late spring, early winter. Time of bloom is key here, and the fall foliage is like fire.
    Frances

  42. skeeter says:

    I hear this song occasionally on our Classic Rock station! I had to save my baby sitting money for many weeks in order to get that one pair of Bobby Brooks Slacks! Ah, the memories that song brings back each time me ears hear it. Bobby Brooks was such a big thing in those days and now they can be found at Dollar General Store! How odd is that…

    Hi Skeeter, talk about diluting your brand! Obviously this name was sold. Bobbie would be rolling over in her grave. It was a status line when we were young. Do you remember the rival brand name, by any chance? It was not Villager, but many have been one word. Not remembering it is driving me crazy. :-)
    Frances

  43. Perfect post. The pictures are perfect. (I mean perfect – how do you do that?) The lyrics are spot on. I was singing and remembering and ogling your lovely Diane. So creative. Thanks for your comments on my witch hazel post – I was happy to hear that you, too, call your plants by name. Jorge, my ficus tree, has been with me oh these many years. I may have to branch out to anthropomorphizing the outdoor ones too! Kelly

    Hi Kelly, thanks so much. I do take a whole lot of shots to get just a couple of usable ones, hundreds. We anthropomorphize everything, not just plants. It makes life more interesting. :-)
    Frances

  44. Rosey says:

    When I was younger I always thought Melloncamp was saying ” swimming in men” instead of “makes us women and men”
    Funny post, Frances… you never fail to get me smiling.

    HA Rosey, you brought a smile to my face as well, thanks. You sound like my daughter, who would always mishear song lyrics, and would not listen when corrected. She will still sing *chicken in my shoes* rather than shaking in my shoes to that song Centerfold by J. Geils Band. :-)
    Frances

  45. I used to have ‘Diane’ in my garden, but it always irritated me by hanging on to its leaves all winter and hiding the flowers. Hate to tell you what happened next. Let’s just say, “Rain on the scarecrow. Blood on the plow.”

    Hi Steve, so nice to see you. Man, you ARE grumpy! We simply snip the old leaves off after Christmas with our ever handy dandy thumbnail. Worth the effort to me for the beauty of Diane is beyond question, maybe not to you! We prefer the blood in our garden to be the bagged dried kind, although a dead vole is always a welcome gift from the cats. :-)
    Frances

  46. Lola says:

    Love that Diane, BB was a winner for sure. Was the other name attached to jeans?

    Hi Lola, thanks, so nice to see you. This would have been before jeans were popular for girls, imagine!, mid sixties, although I did have some of my boyfriend’s Levis that he had outgrown. I don’t even know what to google to find it, either. Oh well. :-)
    Frances

  47. Diane is beautiful at any age!

    You mentioned noticing my Hummels and other thingeys. One of the Hummels was a wedding gift from Larry’s aunt and uncle, one I think we bought, and the third was one of Larry’s mom’s. Since we got the china, the other siblings got the rest of the Hummels. Some of the vases were my mother-in-laws, too. Most of the things are flower frogs that I found in different places, including ebay. I was very active in collecting them for awhile, but finally backed off when I realized I don’t have room for more. There are a couple I will get if I run across them for a good price, though.

    Hi Sue, thanks. Those figurines are precious to you, I am sure! I used to be more excited about mine, but have been on a streamlining kick for a few years now, simplifying and decluttering my life, or trying to. :-)
    Frances

  48. Laurrie says:

    I’m taking my laptop out to the dry creekbed where my Diane witch hazel is planted, and I’m gonna play the Jack & Diane ditty and show her your blooms. My witch hazel is 5 years old, 4 feet high, leafing out nicely, but in winter I get eensy teensy little pseudo blooms. They’re red and look like delicate spiders, but very very small. Is hamamelis slow to establish? Will I ever get big strappy blooms like yours… or are they really small and your closeup lens makes them so gorgeous? I really enjoyed this creative post, (except for some plant envy and garden jealousy issues).

    Hi Laurrie, thanks and welcome. Diane’s flowers are not real big, those are macros, but we have found that she sort of shrinks when the weather is below freezing and relaxes the petals on those warmer days. Seeing that you are CT, it may be that your Diane is blooming in very cold temps. They are slow to establish, but that should only affect the number of blooms, not the size of them, I would think. BTW, I have linked to you at the end of the next post, about repotting the Paphs. :-)
    Frances

  49. Beckie says:

    Love the witch hazel and love the memories the song and Bobbie Brooks brought back. (telling our age aren’t we??) Such a fun post Frances.

    Hi Beckie, thanks. We are the perfect age, IMHO. :-)
    Frances

  50. Never seen one of these before! It looks like confetti. I used to slur the “debutante” part of the song into something unintelligible, since I couldn’t understand what he was saying. No idea about the Bobbie Brooks (I originally typed “Bobbie Brown”) pants!

    Hi Clementine, thanks for visiting. How funny about Bobbie Brown! You are way too young to remember the Bobbie Brooks, obviously. Aren’t lyrics funny? There are some that are just gobbledy gook to us too. I could list several…. :-)
    Frances

  51. If ever there was a compelling argument to grow witchhazel, photographically this is it.

    That Mellancamp tune was on the radio recently over here. In fact a lot of stuff like that keeps getting played at the moment. Steely Dan, Steve Miller and so on.

    Not convinced about after the ‘livin is gone’ at that age though. Bit sad really.

    Hi Rob, thanks so much. Anything that blooms in the dead of winter is worth considering! The song is ubiquitous, not a fave of mine actually, but was the only one that came to mind with Diane in it. Most people have heard of it too. As for the livin’ being gone, well no, that is not accurate, is it? :-)
    Frances

  52. Weeping Sore says:

    I’ve bookmarked this wonderful post. I usually go for the cheap ordinary paphs that Trader Joe’s practically gives away. I’ve arrived at a point where I can actually get these guys to rebloom. But I’ve learned so much you’ve tempted me to be bolder. Your final picture was indeed the best. I love both orchids.

    Hi WS, thanks. I wish we had a Trader Joe’s with cheapo paphs! None of mine have been very cheap, they are more expensive than the ubiquitous phals that are on every street corner. I figure not seeing many helps my budget for outdoor plants. I did go to the Carter and Holmes site and was tempted by several. Didn’t order any though, for Valentine’s day is just around the corner. :-)
    Frances

  53. skeeter says:

    Was it maybe “Gloria Vanderbilt”? I so had to save for months for that one pair of jeans….

    Thanks Skeeter, but that is way to recent. Maybe you wern’t even born yet when we were wearing the Bobbie Brooks! I remember the designer jeans and those ads on TV. We could look like that if we only had those jeans! HA :-)
    Frances

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